1 00:00:08,743 --> 00:00:11,577 [theme music] 2 00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:13,346 - ? I'm goin' down to South America ? 3 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:14,813 ? Have myself a time ? 4 00:00:14,882 --> 00:00:16,682 - ? Friendly faces everywhere ? 5 00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:18,385 ? Humble folks without temptation ? 6 00:00:18,386 --> 00:00:19,819 - ? I'm goin' down to South America ? 7 00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:21,620 ? Leave my woes behind ? 8 00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,389 - ? Ample parking day or night ? 9 00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:25,358 ? People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ? 10 00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:26,559 - ? I'm headin' on up to South America ? 11 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:28,727 ? See if I can't unwind ? 12 00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:31,830 - ? [mumbling] ? 13 00:00:31,831 --> 00:00:33,133 - ? So come on down to South America ? 14 00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:35,434 ? Meet some friends of mine ? 15 00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:39,054 ["Rock and Roll Part 2" by Gary Glitter] 16 00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:46,111 ? ? 17 00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:52,951 [bell rings] 18 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:56,422 ? ? 19 00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:58,223 - Hey, guys, it's lunchtime! 20 00:00:58,292 --> 00:00:59,691 And it's Wednesday. 21 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,527 You know what that means? 22 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,762 ? Sloppy joes! ? 23 00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:05,341 - ? Hey! ? - ? It's sloppy joes ? 24 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,800 ? Sloppy joes ? - ? Hey! ? 25 00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:11,036 - ? Sloppy joes, sloppy joes ? 26 00:01:11,138 --> 00:01:13,705 Hey, Butters, you know what's for lunch today? 27 00:01:13,808 --> 00:01:15,507 Sloppy joes. - ? Hey! ? 28 00:01:15,508 --> 00:01:16,643 ? ? 29 00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:18,343 ? Hey! ? 30 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,746 - ? Sloppy joes ? - ? Hey! ? 31 00:01:20,815 --> 00:01:21,980 - ? Sloppy joes ? 32 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,850 ? Sloppy joes, sloppy joes, sloppy joes ? 33 00:01:24,885 --> 00:01:27,152 ? Sloppy joes, sloppy joes ? 34 00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:29,455 ? Sloppy, sloppy joes ? 35 00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:31,790 - ? Hey, hey ? 36 00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:32,958 - Cuy? 37 00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:34,493 What the hell is cuy? 38 00:01:37,031 --> 00:01:38,564 Uh, excuse me, ma'am, 39 00:01:38,565 --> 00:01:39,666 the [bleep] is this? 40 00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:41,417 It's supposed to be sloppy joe day. 41 00:01:41,418 --> 00:01:43,870 - Yeah, well, South America Elementary can't afford 42 00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:45,471 the rising cost of beef, 43 00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:46,738 so you get cuy. 44 00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:50,075 - What's cuy? - It's guinea pig on a stick. 45 00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:51,443 - Ew! 46 00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:54,913 - No, it's Wednesday. I want my goddamn sloppy joe. 47 00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:58,550 - Well, then, go tell that to your goddamn politicians. 48 00:02:05,025 --> 00:02:06,358 - [sniffs] 49 00:02:06,821 --> 00:02:11,498 - I [bleep] hate South America so much, you guys. 50 00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:13,533 - How the hell do they expect us to eat this? 51 00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:15,134 - I swear, the school lunches just keep getting 52 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,301 worse and worse. 53 00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:18,204 - This whole stupid school keeps getting worse. 54 00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:20,272 - You guys, you guys, check it out. 55 00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:22,941 I stole Bebe's brainrot on "Roblox. 56 00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:26,144 Look! It's a Chimpanzini Bananini! 57 00:02:26,213 --> 00:02:27,546 - Oh, my God. 58 00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:28,780 - Check this one out. 59 00:02:28,883 --> 00:02:32,217 Oh, oh, it's a Bambadilo Crocodilo! 60 00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:34,996 - Nobody cares about Italian brainrot anymore, Dad! 61 00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:36,355 That's so last year. 62 00:02:36,423 --> 00:02:39,258 - Well, I'm sorry, Stan. I'm just trying to fit in, OK? 63 00:02:39,259 --> 00:02:41,427 You know, it's not easy being the new kid at school. 64 00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:42,729 - Then you need to go fix your problem. 65 00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:44,129 Go see a doctor or something. 66 00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:46,766 - You guys, the school has just murdered sloppy joe day. 67 00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,033 What are we gonna do? 68 00:02:48,034 --> 00:02:50,904 - Well, yeah, it's 'cause there's a national beef crisis. 69 00:02:50,905 --> 00:02:52,105 - What are you talking about? 70 00:02:52,106 --> 00:02:53,673 - I don't know- [bleep] government 71 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,207 can't figure out beef. 72 00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:57,544 So now I guess they're taking it from South America. 73 00:02:57,545 --> 00:02:59,678 That's why you gotta pack your own lunch. 74 00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:01,848 - The government's deciding what to do with our beef? 75 00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:03,415 That doesn't seem fair. 76 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:04,883 - Yeah, tell me about it. 77 00:03:04,884 --> 00:03:06,753 This whole town was built on the cattle industry, 78 00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:09,321 now we can't even afford it. 79 00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:12,858 - But then... who's eating our beef? 80 00:03:12,927 --> 00:03:15,794 [jazzy music playing] 81 00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:19,264 ? ? 82 00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:22,034 - All right, folks, let me just mention our special 83 00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:23,702 that we're serving tonight. 84 00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:27,573 This is your extremely expensive Grade A5 beef 85 00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,141 from South America. 86 00:03:29,176 --> 00:03:30,742 - Oh. - Ooh! 87 00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:33,812 - South America is a small town in the Colorado mountains, 88 00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:36,481 and their beef is becoming very sought after. 89 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:39,117 - Uh, I've heard that South American beef 90 00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:41,920 can give you kind of explosive diarrhea. 91 00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:45,691 - Uh, it is sort of a richer beef, yeah. 92 00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:48,293 Very buttery. Um, if you can afford it, 93 00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:51,530 it's a must-try. 94 00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:55,033 - All right, folks, here's your A5 South American beef. 95 00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:58,003 There's a nice jus there on the side. 96 00:03:58,105 --> 00:04:00,806 And you- you can enjoy that with... 97 00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:02,374 a little peppercorn crust. 98 00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:05,777 Uh, I'll be back to see how those first bites are going. 99 00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:08,313 [whispering] Go, go, go, go. 100 00:04:08,314 --> 00:04:09,415 - Mmm! 101 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,149 Ooh, very tender. 102 00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:14,252 It's very t-ah! [loud fart] 103 00:04:14,321 --> 00:04:16,154 - Larry-ah! [fart] 104 00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:18,490 - What, huh-oh, it is buttery. 105 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,859 [farts] Ah! 106 00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:23,929 [farting] 107 00:04:25,486 --> 00:04:30,136 - Hi, folks, have you heard about our special? 108 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:31,336 ? ? 109 00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:35,578 - So then I told the lunch lady- 110 00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:37,909 I was like, "Hey, you guys better step it up. 111 00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:39,212 "I don't care if you can't afford beef, 112 00:04:39,213 --> 00:04:41,247 we deserve good lunches at this school." 113 00:04:41,248 --> 00:04:43,016 I really read her the Riot Act, you guys. 114 00:04:43,017 --> 00:04:44,157 It was pretty hardcore. 115 00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:49,121 Ah, seasonal special. That sounds nice. 116 00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:51,056 - Next! 117 00:04:51,057 --> 00:04:52,859 - Uh, yes, the, uh, seasonal special- 118 00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:53,793 what is that today? 119 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,028 - It's a fresh, local guinea pig 120 00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:57,696 on a honey-glazed stick. 121 00:04:57,765 --> 00:04:59,064 - Honey-glazed stick? 122 00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:01,099 [bleep] you. I don't want that! 123 00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:05,170 - Oh, well, then, we also have a braised macadamia nut 124 00:05:05,239 --> 00:05:08,006 guinea pig on a coffee-encrusted stick. 125 00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:11,209 - God damn it, we don't want guinea pig on a [bleep] stick! 126 00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:14,279 Utter [bleep] bullshit, you guys! 127 00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:16,014 - This is so unfair! 128 00:05:16,050 --> 00:05:17,549 What the hell are we gonna do? 129 00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:19,886 - Let's just face it, you guys, no more sloppy joes. 130 00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:22,554 No more tacos. No more Salisbury steak. 131 00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:25,290 - You know who would've known what to do? 132 00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:27,559 Kenny. 133 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:29,228 Kenny wouldn't have stood for this, 134 00:05:29,229 --> 00:05:30,897 'cause he had to eat school lunches. 135 00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,064 'Cause he was poor! 136 00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:33,899 Kenny always knew what to do. 137 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:36,468 - Hey, dudes. 138 00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:38,236 I had a sweet idea. 139 00:05:38,305 --> 00:05:39,638 - Nobody cares. 140 00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:41,406 - OK, I just thought maybe 141 00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:43,242 we could get some beef for the school. 142 00:05:43,243 --> 00:05:45,310 - Wait, how. - Dude, don't engage him. 143 00:05:45,311 --> 00:05:46,913 - Well, why don't the four of us 144 00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:48,547 go talk to the local rancher? 145 00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:50,049 Find out what's happening to our beef, 146 00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:52,050 and then maybe we can save our school! 147 00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:54,520 - Yeah, or maybe you could [bleep] off and go home. 148 00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,556 - You really think the rancher would listen to us? 149 00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:58,223 - I think it's worth a try. 150 00:05:58,292 --> 00:06:01,727 C'mon! Goonies can do anything. 151 00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:07,599 All right, Goonies, this is the place. 152 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:10,103 - Dude, Stan, why does your dad keep talking about gooning? 153 00:06:10,104 --> 00:06:11,571 - [chuckles] Good one, Chunk! 154 00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:14,222 - You call me "Chunk" again, I'll kick you in the nuts. 155 00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:16,675 - Afternoon, folks. 156 00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:17,909 Here for some beef? 157 00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:20,235 - Yeah, we want beef for our school cafeteria. 158 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,380 - Tacos, Salisbury steak, sloppy joes. 159 00:06:22,381 --> 00:06:24,016 We want to know what the [bleep] is going on! 160 00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:27,452 - Well, the beef here in South America is the finest. 161 00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,154 For that premium flavor, 162 00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:31,256 all our cattle are massaged daily 163 00:06:31,325 --> 00:06:34,793 and fed a diet of grass, imported olives, and beer! 164 00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:36,094 - The cows get beer? 165 00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:38,513 - C'mon in and see if there's anything you like. 166 00:06:44,351 --> 00:06:47,940 - Wait, aren't these just the same cows 167 00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,275 that have always been here? 168 00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:51,811 - Well, yes, but now we have a much higher clientele, 169 00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:52,978 you know, 170 00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:54,447 And all the rich people in other states 171 00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:56,681 want a premium experience. 172 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,850 Now we got influential people 173 00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,822 coming in and out of here all the time. 174 00:07:00,823 --> 00:07:03,122 They're saying cattle are gonna be a big factor 175 00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:04,823 in what happens in November. 176 00:07:04,824 --> 00:07:07,460 Don't know what cows have to do with "Grand Theft Auto VI," 177 00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:08,494 but whatever. 178 00:07:08,495 --> 00:07:09,996 - So then what about all the locals 179 00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:11,297 who can't afford the beef now? 180 00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:12,665 - Yeah, we're getting [bleep]! 181 00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:14,667 - Oh, see, that's what everyone's saying, 182 00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:17,435 but we've still got some lower-cost inventory. 183 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,172 How about Destiny here? 184 00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:21,808 She's a little older and leaner, 185 00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:23,241 but comes at a lower price. 186 00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:26,912 What do you think, you wanna take Destiny back to VIP? 187 00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:28,313 - To VIP? 188 00:07:28,382 --> 00:07:30,282 - Yeah, you can take her back to VIP. 189 00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:32,284 I'll set you up with some champagne. 190 00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:34,519 - Hell yeah, we'll go to VIP. 191 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:45,130 ["Cherry Pie" by Warrant playing] 192 00:07:45,199 --> 00:07:48,333 - ? She's my cherry pie ? 193 00:07:48,402 --> 00:07:51,203 ? Cool drink of water, such a sweet surprise ? 194 00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:53,839 ? Tastes so good, make a grown man cry ? 195 00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:56,541 ? Sweet cherry pie ? 196 00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:58,577 - Whoa! - Holy shit! 197 00:07:59,613 --> 00:08:02,414 - All right, that'll be $25,000. 198 00:08:03,417 --> 00:08:06,384 [jazzy music playing] 199 00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:13,425 ? ? 200 00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:18,029 - Oh, yeah, that's a good steak- 201 00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:19,698 [farts] Ah! 202 00:08:22,536 --> 00:08:23,869 - Uh, waiter? 203 00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,136 - Yes, sir? 204 00:08:25,239 --> 00:08:26,538 - What is he having? 205 00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:28,297 - Oh, uh, I believe he's enjoying 206 00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:30,175 the South American beef. 207 00:08:30,244 --> 00:08:32,177 It comes from a small patriotic town 208 00:08:32,246 --> 00:08:34,012 in the middle of the country. 209 00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:36,748 - Did he just explode with diarrhea? 210 00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:39,784 - It is more of a richer beef, yeah-little buttery. 211 00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:42,220 - Well, I'd like to get some of that. 212 00:08:42,256 --> 00:08:44,089 In fact, I think we all would. 213 00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:46,858 - I'm so sorry, guys, but I think that was our last one. 214 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,093 - What? 215 00:08:48,094 --> 00:08:50,096 - The South American beef is really popular. 216 00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:51,597 We just can't keep up with the demand. 217 00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:53,832 - Well, that's just ridiculous! 218 00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:56,434 I'm an American, and I'm very patriotic! 219 00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:59,204 Now, I want some South American beef, God damn it! 220 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:01,840 - Mrs. Chris's! 221 00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:04,143 Another table has demanded South American beef. 222 00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:06,678 - I know. I can't even get this rancher in Colorado 223 00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,346 to answer my calls! 224 00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:09,828 - What are we supposed to do? 225 00:09:09,829 --> 00:09:11,617 - Ma'am, more people just walked out. 226 00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:13,518 Everyone's furious! 227 00:09:13,519 --> 00:09:16,489 - This South American beef was supposed to be a solution, 228 00:09:16,490 --> 00:09:17,822 not a crisis. 229 00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,178 Shut the restaurant down, 230 00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,960 and everyone get ready to travel. 231 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,863 If South America won't give us their cows, 232 00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:27,799 then we'll take them instead. 233 00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:50,155 [cow moos loudly] 234 00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:51,556 - Sir, please, 235 00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:54,093 can't you see that by exporting all our town's cattle, 236 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,627 you're hurting us locals? 237 00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:57,429 - Sorry, boys, but I told ya, 238 00:09:57,497 --> 00:10:00,532 if you can't afford the beef, you can't afford the beef. 239 00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:03,134 - Do you have any idea how much school sucks? 240 00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,737 Our lunchtime is all we have. - Yeah! 241 00:10:05,738 --> 00:10:08,407 It's bad enough we have to deal with quizzes and homework, 242 00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:09,674 and our bitch moms- 243 00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:11,243 [bleep] yapping, bitching all the time- 244 00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:12,911 - Dad! 245 00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:14,346 Get-get over here. 246 00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:17,400 What are you doing? 247 00:10:17,401 --> 00:10:19,018 - Well, I'm trying to get beef for the school- 248 00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:21,387 - You're embarrassing me in front of my friends. 249 00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:23,688 - Oh, come on, Stan, we're just having fun. 250 00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:25,156 - I'm not having fun! 251 00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:26,624 - You're not having fun? 252 00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:29,794 [engines roaring] 253 00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:32,731 [dramatic music] 254 00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:34,799 ? ? 255 00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:36,434 - We got a problem. 256 00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:39,571 There's a steakhouse here demanding more of our steaks. 257 00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:41,139 - Is it Ruth's Chris's? 258 00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:42,540 - No, it's worse. 259 00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:44,843 Texas Roadhouse. 260 00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:46,945 They're completely Ruth-less. 261 00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:51,950 ? ? 262 00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:54,019 - Our customers are angry. 263 00:10:54,054 --> 00:10:56,755 We need our South American beef now. 264 00:10:56,756 --> 00:10:59,158 - Look, I'm sorry, but we're just a little behind 265 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,291 on production. 266 00:11:00,394 --> 00:11:02,527 - Yeah? Well, you better step it up! 267 00:11:02,596 --> 00:11:04,029 Like it or not, 268 00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:07,432 your cows have become more important than you can imagine. 269 00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:12,270 ANNOUNCER: Live from affiliates all over America, 270 00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:15,540 this is "Countdown to November." 271 00:11:15,609 --> 00:11:17,539 - November is just around the corner, 272 00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:20,178 and many believe concerns over beef 273 00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:21,946 are going to play a critical part 274 00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:23,848 in the fate of our country. 275 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:26,718 - People are furious, and they should be. 276 00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:28,420 Everyone has a right 277 00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:31,689 to delicious, juicy, South American beef. 278 00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:35,093 And it's wrong that it isn't affordable to everyone. 279 00:11:35,094 --> 00:11:36,762 REPORTER: And what about some people who say 280 00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:38,963 you don't even eat South American beef, 281 00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:40,498 that you eat tofu? 282 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:43,568 - Well, that's ridiculous. I love South American beef. 283 00:11:43,569 --> 00:11:45,137 REPORTER: Well, that's great, because we have 284 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:47,872 some South American beef right here. 285 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,074 - Oh. 286 00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:51,843 Actually, I just ate not that long ago. 287 00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:54,546 REPORTER: But you said you never turn it down. 288 00:11:56,450 --> 00:12:01,219 Do you not like patriotic South American beef? 289 00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:04,756 - Of course I do. I love America. I- 290 00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:09,928 There we go. Mmm. I love me a- 291 00:12:09,996 --> 00:12:11,729 [farts] Ah! 292 00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:17,035 [soft music] 293 00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:20,171 ? ? 294 00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:26,478 CARTMAN: ? Sloppy joes ? 295 00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:29,047 ? Sloppy, slop- ? 296 00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:34,486 ? Sloppy joes ? 297 00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:37,455 - Chunk? 298 00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:40,992 What are you doing, Chunk? We can't just give up. 299 00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:44,062 - What do you mean? It's over. 300 00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:46,865 - Yeah, face it, dude. We lost. 301 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,167 - No, it's not over. 302 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,936 We still have each other. 303 00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:54,205 And Goonies never say die. 304 00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:57,442 They have their world out there, 305 00:12:57,511 --> 00:12:59,878 but in here, this is our time. 306 00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:01,079 And if we can just- 307 00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:02,914 - Stop talking to my friends 308 00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:05,250 like they're your friends. 309 00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:08,520 - I'm just saying, maybe we can rally all the students. 310 00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:10,922 You know, make a giant protest. 311 00:13:10,923 --> 00:13:12,158 - When are you gonna realize 312 00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:14,192 that nobody wants you around, Dad? 313 00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:18,763 - Oh. OK. 314 00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:20,698 Sorry. 315 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:24,269 You know, Stan, be nice if you cut me some slack sometimes. 316 00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:27,105 All I'm doing is trying to connect with you. 317 00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:29,174 - You are pretty rough on him, dude. 318 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:30,542 - What? - Yeah, I get it. 319 00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:32,810 Caring about something isn't cool. 320 00:13:32,879 --> 00:13:35,280 But-but maybe we can get some of the other kids 321 00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:37,882 to forget that and care a little bit. 322 00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:39,884 - Little Randy's right. 323 00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,419 We can't give up. 324 00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:42,788 We gotta get everyone involved. 325 00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:45,023 - No, you guys, this is done, OK? 326 00:13:45,091 --> 00:13:47,692 - OK, Stan, then we'll do it without you. 327 00:13:47,693 --> 00:13:51,163 The truth is, everyone's a little sick 328 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,597 of your attitude. 329 00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:01,372 ANNOUNCER: Live from our nation's capital, 330 00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:04,409 this is "Countdown to November." 331 00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:05,910 - November is looming, 332 00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:08,947 and beef prices are on everyone's mind. 333 00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:12,150 But some are trying to downplay its relevance. 334 00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:14,752 My guest is a wealthy CEO from Florida 335 00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:17,388 who says that the importance of beef is overrated. 336 00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:19,924 Is that what you think, sir? 337 00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:21,327 REPUBLICAN: That's right, Mike. 338 00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:23,896 There's so many great proteins out there, you know? 339 00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:28,266 Like ground turkey and lentils. That's all I really eat. 340 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,768 - You've never had South American beef? 341 00:14:30,769 --> 00:14:32,871 REPUBLICAN: No, no. What's the big deal? 342 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:36,241 I mean, good lentils are just as rich and buttery as- 343 00:14:36,309 --> 00:14:39,477 - Sir, you look a little like you've had South American beef. 344 00:14:39,478 --> 00:14:42,114 REPUBLICAN: Mike, a protein is a protein is a protein. 345 00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:44,482 Like some nice, juicy edamame. 346 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:47,118 My wife eats nothing but edamame every day. 347 00:14:47,153 --> 00:14:48,419 Isn't that right, honey? 348 00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:51,022 WIFE: Oh, yeah. Beef is too hard on the figure. 349 00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:52,790 I prefer edamame. 350 00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:54,626 And my tits are real. 351 00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:56,128 REPUBLICAN: Your tits look great, honey. 352 00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:58,263 WIFE: Oh, stop, you rascal. 353 00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:00,965 KIDS: We want beef! We want beef! 354 00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,333 KYLE: All our local cows 355 00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:05,236 are being exported to high-end restaurants. 356 00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:08,273 And meanwhile, our school lunches suck more and more. 357 00:15:08,274 --> 00:15:09,341 ALL: Yeah! 358 00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:12,210 We want beef! We want beef! 359 00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:14,879 - So us dudes are asking all school kids 360 00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:17,282 to join us and fight for our beef. 361 00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:18,783 ALL: Yeah! 362 00:15:18,852 --> 00:15:21,352 Little Randy! Little Randy! 363 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:25,356 Little Randy! Little Randy! Little Randy! 364 00:15:25,357 --> 00:15:26,558 - If we unite together, 365 00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:29,093 then we can fight these damn steakhouses. 366 00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:31,829 [dramatic music] 367 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:35,099 ? ? 368 00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:39,337 RUTH: Beautiful speech, boys. Bravo. 369 00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:41,706 My name is Ruth Chris, 370 00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:44,342 and unfortunately, you have no idea 371 00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:46,678 the forces you are meddling with. 372 00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:50,882 This entire country is about to change. 373 00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:53,318 And if anyone is going to control your beef, 374 00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,987 you want it to be Ruth Chris's. 375 00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:58,656 We are taking control. 376 00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:00,958 - Mrs. Chriseseses, we have a problem. 377 00:16:00,959 --> 00:16:03,395 The South American cows have all just been hijacked 378 00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:04,446 by Sizzler! 379 00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:05,897 - What? 380 00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:11,035 [gunfire] 381 00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:13,538 [mooing] 382 00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:21,579 [mooing] 383 00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:23,414 - That's our sloppy joes! 384 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,457 [dramatic ? ?ntry musi 385 00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:35,493 NARRATOR: What does a man owe the land? 386 00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:37,362 November is coming. 387 00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:40,765 Time when people will show what they stand for. 388 00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:43,534 And if there's one thing all Americans love, 389 00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:45,536 it's a bullshit cowboy. 390 00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:47,638 The kind that grew up in the suburbs 391 00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:50,308 but then bought a truck, threw on a cowboy hat, 392 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:51,603 and ripped on city people 393 00:16:51,604 --> 00:16:53,612 while working out in their private gym. 394 00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:55,714 The kind that fly to their vacation ranches 395 00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:57,216 for the weekend and then talk about 396 00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:59,450 how they're victims of the system. 397 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:00,752 But if you want people 398 00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:03,454 to really believe your cowboy bullshit, 399 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:06,858 nothing's more important than what you put on your plate. 400 00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:08,960 South American beef is now available 401 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,796 exclusively at Sizzlers. 402 00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:16,434 It's about tradition, family, and loyalty. 403 00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:17,602 Go on. 404 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:20,938 Prove who you are this November. 405 00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:23,274 - Ah! 406 00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:26,577 NARRATOR: Sizzler, because nothing says America 407 00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:30,681 like beef from South America. 408 00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:40,525 - I don't know what to tell you folks. 409 00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:43,428 Sizzler done cleaned me out. 410 00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:46,798 There ain't a cow left in town. 411 00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:49,700 - There has to be something we can do. 412 00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:52,103 We must have that beef. 413 00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:54,272 - God damn it, lady, give it up already. 414 00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:57,074 You people already sucked our town dry of sloppy joes. 415 00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:59,410 What else do you want from us? 416 00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:02,580 - After all of this, you boys still think 417 00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:06,017 it's just about the cows? 418 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:08,286 [intriguing music] 419 00:18:08,354 --> 00:18:10,321 People don't care about the cows. 420 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:13,024 They care about this country. 421 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,926 November is coming. 422 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,596 And everyone's freaking out because we have to choose 423 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:20,765 who will be in charge when we're all dealing 424 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:25,403 with something that we are not prepared for! 425 00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:27,305 [sighs] 426 00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:29,440 You wanna know the truth? 427 00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:32,443 Then it's time you saw the truth. 428 00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:36,347 A lot of good Americans died to smuggle this to us. 429 00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:39,851 Prepare yourselves. 430 00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:41,853 [upbeat music] 431 00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:42,888 Look at that. 432 00:18:42,889 --> 00:18:45,756 The graphics are seriously next level. 433 00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:47,592 You see the worldbuilding? 434 00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:48,793 [dog barks] 435 00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:51,262 It's a dog taking a poop. 436 00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:54,632 And people can pick up the dog poop. 437 00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:58,503 You can throw things at the person with dog poop. 438 00:18:58,605 --> 00:19:00,938 And if they choose to fight back, 439 00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:02,974 you can pick up the dog poop 440 00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:06,844 and actually attack them with the dog poop. 441 00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:08,813 That... 442 00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:11,983 is what's coming in November. 443 00:19:12,085 --> 00:19:13,518 - Wow. 444 00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:15,119 - Holy shit. 445 00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:18,222 - Dude, that game looks [bleep] tits. 446 00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:21,192 [soft country music] 447 00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:28,299 ? ? 448 00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:35,573 - Boy, things are really gonna change in November, huh? 449 00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:38,276 - Yeah. 450 00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:42,613 - Kinda puts a perspective on things. 451 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,582 - Yeah, it does. 452 00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:48,886 - Stan, I'm sorry I've been intruding on your life. 453 00:19:48,887 --> 00:19:50,489 I guess I just saw an opportunity 454 00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:53,357 to try and be closer to you, and I blew it. 455 00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:55,693 - No, I'm sorry, Dad. 456 00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:57,029 You didn't choose what happened to you, 457 00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:59,363 and I need to not yell at you all the time. 458 00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:02,067 - Guess all that bickering and fighting won't be worth much 459 00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:05,236 when November comes around, huh? 460 00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:09,073 Things are really gonna change. I'm pretty excited. 461 00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:10,875 - Me too. 462 00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,276 - Seems a shame, though. 463 00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:16,380 Not gonna have beef in the cafeteria. 464 00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:17,915 - Wait a minute. 465 00:20:17,916 --> 00:20:20,419 They said nobody even really cares about our cows. 466 00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:24,322 - Yeah, it's just a battle over who's more patriotic. 467 00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:26,223 - So then, this rancher could 468 00:20:26,292 --> 00:20:28,492 inject anything with lard and butter. 469 00:20:28,595 --> 00:20:31,696 - And people would be just as obsessed with it. 470 00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:33,631 - That's it! Dude, that's it! 471 00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:35,600 We can have all our cows back! 472 00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:38,402 Don't you see? It's the perfect solution, you guys. 473 00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:40,738 Mrs. Chriseses, you can have what you need, 474 00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:42,674 the rancher guy can still make money, 475 00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:44,109 and all us locals get to benefit 476 00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:47,244 from our own local beef. 477 00:20:47,313 --> 00:20:49,246 - My God, boys. 478 00:20:49,315 --> 00:20:52,149 It just might work. 479 00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:54,218 [refined music] 480 00:20:54,287 --> 00:20:55,427 - All right, everyone, 481 00:20:55,428 --> 00:20:57,456 we've got your patriotic meals right here. 482 00:20:57,457 --> 00:21:00,491 This is your lime-infused, South American, 483 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,527 flame-seared guinea pig on a stick. 484 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:04,962 - Oh. - Oh. 485 00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:07,354 - We recommend you start with the stick pur�e 486 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:10,001 before moving on to the stick confit. 487 00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:12,803 And the chef has shaved the guinea pig's pussy 488 00:21:12,839 --> 00:21:15,539 into a nice little landing strip. 489 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:19,744 OK, enjoy your South American meal. 490 00:21:19,745 --> 00:21:21,246 [whispering] OK, go. Go, go, go, go. 491 00:21:21,247 --> 00:21:23,814 - Well, it looks like a patriotic dish. 492 00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:25,349 [farts] Ah! 493 00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:26,817 - Oh, I love it. 494 00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:28,156 [farting] I really-ah! 495 00:21:28,187 --> 00:21:30,554 - [grunting] 496 00:21:30,555 --> 00:21:32,157 [muffled] It's absolutely delicious. 497 00:21:32,158 --> 00:21:33,457 [farts] Ah! 498 00:21:33,526 --> 00:21:36,527 [farting and screaming] 499 00:21:36,577 --> 00:21:41,127 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0